Happy Lover-versary

a love letter to anyone that cares💗

My grandfather used to paint butterflies in his studio in Colombia when I was a child and here I photographed Taylor being the most magical butterfly ever 🦋

Dear lovers,

It’s been 4 years since I was in NYC celebrating the release of the Lover album with my family and friends. This was a life changing moment for me because the last time I had been in Times Square with my family was when we first immigrated to the US in 1999 but this time, I had 4 billboards lighting up the city with my art. That was an emotional weekend for my family and me… and I guess I’m reflecting on it today, the 4 year anniversary, because this year has been an especially difficult one for me and I’m feeling particularly grateful for being alive.

When I look at the memories from this time in my life I see a version of me that is so different than who I am now. I see a version of me that was young (24 years old!!!), naive, and terrified out of her mind. To look back on this time now, at 28 years old, having beat cancer 2 months ago— a tumor I definitely did NOT know I had inside of me when I worked on this project— and more full of gratitude and lust for life than ever, I wish I could hug that 24 year old me so tightly. In some ways my life was harder then, but I also had no idea what was coming… I’m watching the puzzle pieces fall into place.

Me and two of my best friends that assisted me on Lover. Left: the day we checked into our hotel for the shoot. I remember giggling and crying so much that day because I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I chose to bring two talented people that I knew would also anchor me in my faith bc that was everything I was holding onto.

my brother and two of my best friends with me in Times Square

The Swiftiverse welcomed me with so much love. I’ve never known a group of people so dedicated to the work and wellbeing of one human being and, though it was overwhelming and new at first, I have made friends and community in people that still reach out to tell me how this art impacted and moved them. I only ever dreamed of filling the world with color and this project allowed my work to reach the farthest corners of the planet. 

It’s not lost on me, the cultural impact that this had on my Latin community and for me, that has always been the biggest accomplishment I saw in this project. Getting to talk about how this project was a labor of love and faith and a manifestation of the dream my family immigrated for, is the purpose I played in this project. 

I never thought opportunities like this existed for people like me. The world told me time and time again, that being an undocumented immigrant was shameful and that my family was undeserving of basic human rights and opportunities. I hope that if you can relate at all to my immigrant background, you take away from this that miracles and success and joy are for EVERYBODY. It was God moving through me and using my open hands to capture the light. 

just a snippet of the beautiful messages I’ve gotten over the years

This project is the product of an incredible team effort. Not just from the people on set, but also from all the teachers, friends, family, and kind strangers that have taught me, encouraged me, prayed for me, and loved me. My art is everything it is because of them. 

I know everybody focuses on the music, Taylor is brilliant after all and Cruel Summer (my fave) is trending— but I just want to, once again, say thank you for making space for my art in the industry. Every artist deserves to thrive and this project has allowed me to do that over the years, bringing me connections and other projects that are very important to me. I have gone through phases where my anxiety got the best of me and I wanted to distance myself from pink and pastel clouds to “prove” I was more than the girl that photographed Taylor Swift. But honestly, I realize how silly that is, now, because I see how much these pictures still mean to people and I am honored to have had even an ounce of impact or influence in the world, so why is it such a bad thing if it’s wrapped up in cotton candy colors? It’s not. And I don't feel the need to prove myself to anyone anymore. 

I made a book of my memories from this project and included some of my favorite works of art people made and tagged me in. This meant so much to me.

Not sure I’ll every be able to adequately express my emotions when I saw thousands of people with “Lover eyes” at the concert this past April.

The past year taught me that life is too short to fight your blessings, or argue with the timeline, or be too cool for anything. Good things will come easily if they are meant for you, we don't have to question why they are happening (I know that’s a concept, especially for a lot of immigrants/children of immigrants, but it’s true). We are all right on time and not even having cancer can take away the things that are meant for you (sure it can add a couple months/years to the journey, but there’s purpose in our pain, so keep going!!). Lastly, if you love somebody, say it OUT LOUD. If you love something, if you’re proud of it, shout it from the rooftops! IT”S COOL TO CARE! It’s cool to be excited. The world wants to celebrate you all the time and if you find yourself surrounded by people that don’t, find some new friends. I’m 100% serious. I’m convinced our love for life is literally the thread that keeps this whole operation (life) going. 

Thanks for being here, I hope I get to live a hundred more lover-versarys💗

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