I Found the Light

on coming home

I have been playing with this photo for 3 years. It’s been sitting in my digital field journal and I would revisit it from time to time to add new colors, write new words, or erase and start from scratch. I’ve been looking at this image for 3 years knowing she needed to be swimming in water that rippled with color. It took me this long to feel like I found the perfect balance and tones of colors; it took me this long to find the right words.

Inspiration hit me like a Mac truck at 8:37PM on a Monday. I know because I got the vision so completely, I time stamped it in my notes app. I saw the exact colors, the shapes, I knew exactly what I needed to say. Ideas are funny like that, they give us glimpses and pieces and then they wait for us to live, to overcome specific challenges, to lose things that dont serve us, so that time can equip us with the experience and tools needed to complete the idea.

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Monday, August 21, 2023 8:37PM

I found the light inside of me.

Lately, my body feels more like home. For a long time I felt my spirit was separate to my body, like a shadow that wasn’t attached to my feet— always trying to run ahead, while my body tried to catch up to her. I screamed and cried and cursed at my body. Why was she slowing me down? I realize now, she was never trying to hold me back, she was trying to bring me home.