💌 Love Letters 💌 no.4

To the Universe's creativity, with love

Hello, hi :)

it’s been a minute.

Recently, I packed my bags and a chunk of my little studio and moved into a beautiful house in the heart of historic Savannah for the Summer. It’s been rainy and stormy most of the days since I got here.. the air is hot and sticky and there are cobblestone streets I need to get used to, but I wake up energized, surrounded by beautiful art and when I look out my windows, Spanish moss hangs from the trees.

But now I back up.

Last December I remember noticing my Winter Uggs were on their last leg. Worn, and very loved, they’d served me especially well post-thyroid removal, when my body became magnificently intolerant to the cold. I had my eye on those cutie platform Ugg minis that were sold out everywhere. Unfortunately, they were not a *responsible purchase* for someone whose parents were helping financially support her.

It sounds so frivolous, but being unable to afford these Uggs meant something to me. At 26, I was doing so well in my career that I was ready to put a down payment on a house. Then my Saturn Return and a subsequent cancer diagnosis came to eff my shit up. I felt prideful about buying them for myself and not being in circumstances that allowed for that made me angry.. rageful about not being where I used to be financially. So I prayed.

I prayed for some silly little Uggs. Because it’s the little things that sometimes mean the most. I’m not embarrassed to say I asked God for some Ugg boots because I don’t believe in wasted prayers. My God is a God of abundance and there’s always enough room for everyone and everything to matter.

January happened, then February. I tried to take matters into my own hands and even find a contact for Ugg. Maybe I could shoot some Instagram content for them… that could get me my Uggs. Couldn’t find a contact. Prayed again for my Uggs.

In March, my friend’s mom, Cindy, texted me. She’d been out shopping and had bought “this crazy thing on impulse” and just knew she had to gift it to someone. She realized later, that it should be me, so could I “go pick it up from her house?”. Spoiler alert, no it was not my Uggs!! (don’t lie, you’re invested now right?!)

So what was the mystery gift? A giant, rainbow faux fur coat by Karl Lagerfeld. If this sounds like it was made for me, that’s exactly what I wanted to be true. The reality: I looked like one of the Dreamworks’ Trolls that got rejected in the early rounds of design. I was devasted to report to Cindy, that coat was just not made for my 5’2 frame.

I offered to drop it off at her house and have her gift it to someone who would wear it and give it love, but she told me that it was meant to be mine whether I kept it or not and to use the gift receipt at Dilliards because “they have some great shoes”. One second later, I was googling if Dillards carried Uggs. They did. Two seconds later, I was looking up the coat to see the return value. I can’t even make this up— it was the exact value of the Uggs.

I have to laugh. In fact, in that moment, I did. The Universe is *so* creative. I literally got a Technicolor Dream Coat that brought me the shoes I’d been dreaming about for months. I see what you did there, God :)

The coolest part was that if I had been able to return the coat for cash, I 100% would not have used it to buy the Uggs because again— not a responsible purchase at the time. But the Universe is so creative that because I only got store credit for the coat, I had nothing else to do with that gift card but buy the Uggs! I just— wow.

So I got my Uggs, and God got yet another 5-star Yelp Review for excellent customer service and I wore those shoes every day until it was too warm to wear them. My manifestation Uggs :’) I cry.

Around the same time that I was praying for Uggs, I was also praying for a change of scenery. I wanted so badly to move out of my house and into my own home and have my own separate studio. As much as I love my family and my home, I noticed it had become rather difficult to create in my studio. Over the years my props and equipment have slowly started to seep out of my in-law suite and into the living room and corridor. Bless my family for their patience and support because I have now commandeered 5 out of 9 closets in the house.

The living-at-home thing is something that I’ve struggled with immensely only because I know where I was financially 2 years ago. And I’m nowhere near that now. It’s not about my family, it’s everything about my pride. I am aware my ego is all in knots about this and I regularly spend time untangling her and reminding her that there is a purpose to every season, and God still wants me in that house for some reason.

But still, I prayed often for my own space and studio and I believe God still listens to us even if it’s not time to give us what we want. And in June, when I confirmed an artist residency in Savannah, I learned that I’d be staying in my own apartment and have my own separate studio! At this point, I am hyper-aware of the creativity the Universe utilizes to give us what we dream. Our only jobs are to be bold enough to allow ourselves to dream and be brave enough to pursue them when they show up.