Sunflower
a poem for my sweetest friend🌻
written in 2022:
It really is such a beautiful day
Of course it is
It’s your birthday
The angels really showed up and out for you today
I woke up feeling normal
A lingering thought in the back of my head.
Happy birthday, angel
I closed my eyes and went back to bed.
It took me a few extra seconds to peel myself off of my sheets
And a few extra seconds to look at myself in the mirror before washing my face
Because its not fair that I’m still here.
I went to a yoga class
To sweat out my feelings
But I found myself hating the instructor instead
“Someone told me you were a talented artist”
Why did I decide to hate her again?
Oh yeah, grief brings out your ugliest faces..
I made myself one of my favorite breakfast but somehow, the strawberries were bitter and mean
And that’s when I realized
This is how this day is always going to be
Me missing you and trying to move on but always tripping on my own two feet
You meet me on the floor
As I sit and cry into my knees
I thought we were past this
I thought I had no more ugly tears to cry
But it’s such a beautiful day
It’s perfectly warm and slightly breezy
And the flowers are blooming
And the earth is celebrating you
I’d like to get out of my head so I could be a part of it
But most of all
I’d like to see what you would look like, if you’d lived long enough to grow up with me.
